Recommended Books
My favorite resources for struggling parents, based on the research showing what works.
This is my list of my favorite resources for parents. I call them “DIY” because they are very hands-on: Most of these will give you concrete things to try on your own. These books cover a variety of different issues, starting with behavioral concerns, and are mostly meant to be targeted aid for specific problems.
The Kazdin Method, by Alan Kazdin
Who it’s for: parents of kids ages 2-12 who struggle with anger, tantrums, listening, limits, etc.
Why I like it: Dr. Kazdin directed the Yale Parenting Center, and is one of the foremost experts on challenging behaviors in children. Nearly every child psychologist has read something he has written. He also manages to sound down-to-earth in his writing, despite his fancy reputation, and gives proven strategies about what to do when your child is “a little extra.”
Your Defiant Child, by Russell Barkley
Who it’s for: parents of kids ages 2-12 who struggle with anger, tantrums, listening, limits, etc.
Why I like it: Dr. Russell Barkley is another household name in child psychology, perhaps more so than Dr. Kazdin. His treatment protocols are everywhere, and I even use them myself. He uses a step-by-step guide to reducing the hostility in your household. Parents have told me that Dr. Barkley really “gets it,” and has a way with words. He also publishes a “teen” version of this book, Your Defiant Teen.
Taking Charge of ADHD, by Russell Barkley
Who’s it for: parents of children with ADHD
Why I like it: Another hit by Dr. Barkley, parents have told me this book is a lifesaver and restorer of sanity. Dr. Barkley has made a career out of researching and understanding ADHD. When you are feeling overwhelmed and underwater trying to keep up with a child with ADHD, Dr. Barkley gives you simple solutions to try.
Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD, by Eli Lebowitz
Who it’s for: parents of kids who worry, cling, hide, or avoid
Why I like it: Dr. Lebowitz is a bit of a newcomer, publishing the first trial of his method in 2014 (that’s pretty new for psychology!). However, I deeply respect his method, since he integrates decades of learning science and anxiety research to bring you a straightforward and balanced parenting approach for anxious children. He’s also another Yale guy!
The Optimistic Child, by Martin Seligman
Who it’s for: parents of moody or low-self-esteem children
Why I like it: Dr. Seligman is another well-known heavy-hitter in psychology. He developed learned helplessness theory, which revolutionized how psychologists think about depression. It is a bit heavy on story-telling and information, but it still provides practical tips on how to raise emotionally resilient children. He also provides some perspective on where the self-esteem movement went wrong, and how we can fix it.
Common Sense Parenting, by Ray Burke, Ron Herron, and Bridget Barnes
Who it’s for: parents seeking general parenting advice
Why I like it: This one might not have any major-league players in the author list, but it hails from Boys Town, which is a famous children’s charity and pioneer in evidence-based methods for helping children. The Boys Town method maintains that parenting is teaching, and gives you easy ways to teach your child all the important social/emotional skills they need to thrive.
Good Night, Sweet Dreams, I Love You: Now Get Into Bed and Go to Sleep! By Pat Friman
Who it’s for: exhausted parents of children who get up a lot, don’t want to go to sleep, or otherwise act tired or cranky
Why I like it: This book is a humorous and very short guide to facilitating healthy sleep in children. Sleep is often an overlooked aspect of mental health, and you might find that fixing sleep fixes many other things! The author is also a favorite public speaker of mine, and has very entertaining talks on YouTube about parenting and pediatric behavioral health.
Toilet Training in Less Than a Day, by Nathan Azrin
Who it’s for: parents of young children who have not yet been potty trained
Why I like it: Every parent I’ve spoken to about this book couldn’t believe how quickly it worked, and how simple it was! While I can understand some of the recent controversy about this method, I have never personally met a parent who had an issue. There are popular alternatives available, but I cannot vouch for their effectiveness as they are non-standard.
